The Wait

Waiting. Mind in chaos.
Praying. Reflecting. Hoping.
Cold fingers encircle lightly, heart a flutter,
Clammy fingers tighten, squeeze, heart freezes, sinks, slides.
Anticipation mounts.
Door opens. Thank heavens it’s not her.
Door opens. Silent prayers offered.
Door opens. Please don’t let it be her.
Heart pounds. Pounds. POUNDS.
Blood rushes to my ears. Head.
Frown.
Saw a glimpse of someone who looked like him. No. Screamed silently.
Too soon.
Sigh of relief. It’s not them.
Not yet please. Not yet please. Not yet.
Flip through a magazine.
Words. Meaningless.
Door opens. Not her.
Door opens. Not her.
Door opens. Not her.
Phone rings. Scramble. Answer.
“How did it go?”
Flat. Expressionless.
“Come to the car please.”
Grab all. Walk out door. Feet heart leaden.
Walk past him. Don’t look. Don’t engage.
Fingers tremble. Clutch door handle. Fumble. Fumble.
She’s looking away.
Open door.
She turns.
Lo and behold!
And There it is..
Her driver’s licence.
(My thoughts while waiting anxiously for Little one to complete her driving examination. Alright then, not so little, but for her Amma, always her baby. Normally when test is over, tester and student walk into office to get paperwork done which explains my preoccupation with the door. And the test takes about an hour so if they arrive any earlier that would have meant she hadn’t passed).
On another occasion,
Draped a simple much loved arakku red silk Saree with orangish mustard gold gold pallu and border for a 6am Aayush and Mrityunjaya Homam at the temple. — with Thayalini CT Nagendran.