Of Procrastination or Akrasia

#sareespeak

#forgottensareenumber

#SS/13/2020

#kanjivaram

Disclaimer – Delayed post. Rambling post, Due to – note title.

Procrastination.
Google dictionary defines this as
“noun.
the action of delaying or postponing something”.
Wikipedia says
“It is the avoidance of doing a task that needs to be accomplished by a certain deadline. It could be further stated as a habitual or intentional delay of starting or finishing a task despite knowing it might have negative consequences”.
And yes I know I should not be depending on Mr Wiki for enlightenment.
But I like the use of the term intentional.
I am a registered procrastinating offender.
A repeat offender.
I’d like to be part of a PA group, if possible.
Procrastinators Anonymous.
Just this week, sigh, let me numerate the number of times I’ve offended.

1. I’ve had to send important documents to some important place, and delayed it with excuses even I would be proud of.
2. Now that it’s sent, i have to track the documents
3. I have 2 Articles to write
4. I have to plan for some upcoming veena performances for my students
5. I must practise Veena daily
6. I have to scrub the bathroom floor, dust the bathroom lights and clean the top of the shower stall.
7. I must call a friend
8. I need to speak to the bank about some financial transactions
9. I have to plan for 2 upcoming Adaptive Technology Awareness sessions.

Why am I procrastinating, you may ask. Do it, my hubby would say. Do it, my mind nags.
And so I pick a task. Instead of writing the article, I burn the midnight oil, browsing the internet. Research I say. Ooh, Trevor Noah’s hilarious. Oops, back to work. Naah, it’s 2am, must be up by 6.

Apparently,
We have been procrastinating since Year 0. Socrates and Aristotle actually developed a word to describe this behavior: Akrasia. When we do one thing when we know we should be doing something else.

Let me analyse me.
Essentially, I don’t want to track the parcel for fear that it never arrived at its destination.
I daren’t call the bank because i know the procedure to get what i require is too tedious.
My procrastination stems from fear and probably even mood swings. If I’m in a good place, I would tackle the shower stall, and dust the lights. And pure undisguised sloth.
I have lists, and lists of lists, on my diary on the kitchen bench top, a post it note on the fridge, one in my phone case, reminders that beep at me from my office and home phones, emails entitled note to self from my work and two personal emails. And I diligently copy them again onto yet another to do list.
Now if that doesn’t motivate me, what will.
That reminds me, I started writing this two days ago while waiting to pick up my daughter at a bus stop.
I wanted, please believe me when I say I truly meant to, absolutely wanted to complete this, but
Netflix, ginger nut cookies, a slice of cheese, hanging the wash out, folding the clothes,
Got in the way.
I am now attempting to turn over a new leaf.
I shall

1. complete this article.
2. Write my next post
3. Post some food posts
4. Water the indoor plants
5. Write articke no 1 for souvenir magazine 1.
6. Brainstorm on ideas for article no 2 for souvenir magazine 2

Hold it right there! Where’s tracking on the list? And call the bank? And planning for those sessions, coming up this week?
Alright then.
Baby steps.
Realistic achievable goals.
No, Cancel that.
Tangible goals, outcomes I’m able to realise, able to ‘see’.

And so,
Here I am in a light purple lined kanjivaram with orange borders and pallu. Gifted by a friend who passed on, after a long and arduous battle with the big C. 29 years ago. Matched with a cotton brown checked orange bordered blouse. Procrastinated to search for actual saree blouse. Looks like I’ve merged with the orange background. Draped this treasure for a temple visit. Highly motivated as I drove home.

Task 1 finally ticked off, post done.
Now..Where is that tracking slip?
Hold on, I need to watch the season finale of ‘Why Women Kill’ first.